


Wrestling Match with Death

by Magicnation



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-08
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2019-01-30 23:55:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12664056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magicnation/pseuds/Magicnation
Summary: Taako goes out for groceries. Magnus has an idea. Kravitz learns a sport.





	Wrestling Match with Death

“I’ll be right back,” Taako says. “Don’t burn the house down while I’m gone.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, love,” Kravitz replies warmly with a smile.

“Yeah, don’t worry about us. We won’t be taking any pages out of Lup’s book,” Magnus says with a grin.

“Hey, first of all, it wasn’t _our_ house, jackass. Also it was about seventy-odd years ago. And may I remind you-”

“All right, all right,” Magnus laughs, throwing his hands up in surrender. “Go get your meringues.”

Taako is aghast. “You don’t just go out and buy meringues from the grocery store, dumbass, not unless you’re fresh out of _dignity!_ Fuck, what do I look like, some kind of soccer mo-”

Kravitz gets up and cuts him off with a kiss. “Go get the lemons and eggs, love. We’ll be fine for a half hour or so.”

Taako glares at the two of them before settling his gaze on Kravitz. “All right, fine, but promise me you will educate that knucklehead before I do it by force.” He turns on his heel and sweeps dramatically out the door, muttering to himself. “I swear to Pan, lived with the fucker for a _godsdamned century_ and he tells me to go _buy meringues…_ ”

Kravitz closes the door behind him with a fond chuckle. Magnus shakes his head. “All I said was that Lup made the best lemon meringue pie I’d ever eaten.”

“Taako insists that he’s the better baker,” Kravitz says.

“Yeah. Yeesh.” Magnus sits back on the sofa. Kravitz nods his head once in affirmation before the awkwardness sets into every line of his body. He stands hesitantly by the door. Moments pass in increasingly unsettling silence. Finally Magnus, rustically hospitable as always, makes a forced effort at small talk.

“So… I hear you’ve had some nice weather in these parts.”

Kravitz nods stiffly. “Yeah, it’s been nice. Taako’s a sunbather, you know.”

“Oh believe me, I know,” Magnus laughs. The tension seems to ease a little. “For a hundred years I watched him strip down to his undershorts and sprawl out on a beach towel every time the sun came out for more than five minutes. Lup would usually join him. They managed to rope Barry into it, eventually, after he and Lup got together, but it took them forever to get his self-confidence to the point where he would.”

“Are you not the type?” Kravitz asks with a raised brow.

Magnus shrugs. “I’d pile in sometimes, but, you know. I like to be busy.”

Kravitz walks over and takes a seat on the couch across from Magnus’ chair- the same chair which, coincidentally, Magnus himself carved for Taako and Kravitz as a housewarming gift. “That you do. Business at Hammers and Tails must really be booming.”

“Is that a polite way of saying I don’t come around a lot?” Magnus asks, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. “Yeah, I guess I am really busy. We all are. It’s… weird. You’d think that, after saving the world, you might get some downtime? But we jumped right into rebuilding it and then we just kinda, you know, went straight to starting regular lives.”

“Mm. But I don’t imagine any one of you would really have wanted it any other way.”

It’s Magnus’ turn to nod. “Yeah. I guess that’s true. You’re constantly working and running and doing for so many years… how do you do anything else?”

They trail off once more into silence. The room is still except for their breathing and the occasional rustling of Kravitz shifting restlessly on the couch. Magnus coughs into his hand. Kravitz runs his fingers through his dreadlocks. Finally, after ages of awkward quiet, Magnus sneaks a glance at the magically silenced clock (the elfin diva had claimed the ticking was driving him steadily nuts) on the wall , hoping that Taako will be home soon.

A whole five minutes have passed.

Magnus can’t bear it any longer. He jumps to his feet and begins pacing like a caged tiger. “So,” he begins, plodding back and forth across the living room floor, “what exactly does a grim reaper do in his spare time?”

“Um… honestly? I love my job and I love my boyfriend. I don’t do much else.” He cringes. “Wait. Not the best choice of words.”

Magnus doesn’t know whether to guffaw or grimace. “Uh, we’ll just leave that one be, agreed? But seriously. You don’t have any hobbies?”

Kravitz looks uncertain. “No?”

“Sport? Musical instrument? Whittling? Friendship bracelets? Nothing?”

“Should I?”

“Hell yeah, man, you gotta have a thing! A pastime! A personal passion! Something that drives you.”

“Again,” Kravitz replies earnestly, “I maintain the balance of life and death and I spend time with the man I love. What more could I need?”

“You date Taako, of all people. How has he never gotten on your case about taking some me-time?” Magnus asks incredulously.

Kravitz shrugs. “He likes to invite me along to his. Why, what kind of hobbies do you have? That don’t involve training dogs or saving entire planes from an all-consuming amalgamate of doom, I mean.”

“Uh… sometimes Angus sends me a copy of one of his Caleb Cleveland novels. They take me forever to get through, so they’re a good time killer. And… I carve?”

“Woodworking and other crafts do not exactly align with my skill set,” Kravitz points out.

“Right, right.” Magnus stops pacing suddenly, looking Kravitz up and down with an appraising eye. “Hm. But you do see a lot of combat, right? You can hold your own against all kinds of nutters.”

“Sure. Necessity of the occupation,” Kravitz replies warily. He yelps when Magnus yanks his shirt off over his head and throws it on the floor. “Magnus, what the hell-”

“I’m going to teach you one of my hobbies,” Magnus says with a gleam in his eye.

“And what in the Astral Plane is that?”

“Wrestling.”

 

Taako saunters up the front walk, flipping his long golden braid over his shoulder and adjusting the bag of groceries under his left arm. He had only gone to grab what he needed for the pies, but the Fantasy Costco had recently gotten a large shipment of saffron, as well as a selection of limited-time items, including ostrich eggs and owlbear filets, which gave him a really good idea for a special gourmet delight he wanted to try out before the Candlenights party. Granted it was a few months away, and the ostrich eggs would probably go bad before then, but he might be able to preserve them adequately with a simple-

His sensitive ears twitch suddenly, swiveling in the direction of the house, where he can hear some very not-normal type sounds coming from the living room.

_“Shit. Careful Kravitz, that’s not- ouch, no, not there, put it here-”_

__

__

_“Sorry Magnus, I just can’t seem to get my body to twist that way.”_

__

__

_“It’s okay, you just gotta- nice! Now we’re talking!”_

Taako shakes his head, baffled and more than a little concerned. What was he thinking, leaving those two idiots alone for half an hour? More, because it is hard for him not to get distracted in the many food aisles, long and freshly stocked, overflowing with culinary potential…

He regains his focus and swings the door open wide. “Hey my dudes, the Taako Express is pulling into the station and boy howdy have we got- _just what in Pan’s goatly name are you chucklefucks doing!?_ ”

They look up, Magnus rather awkwardly as he is pinned beneath a pretzely twist of Kravitz, who looks mortally embarrassed with one arm locked around Magnus’ neck and the other restraining the burly fighter’s leg.

“We’re, ah...wrestling?” Kravitz offers weakly.

“Yeah, I just thought Krav might need, ya know, a hobby,” Magnus tries to explain. Taako is pretty sure you take a hit to persuasion when you’re contorted like a fucked-up slinky that somehow managed to get tangled up with another of its kind meeting a similar fate.

Kravitz makes a valiant effort at disentangling himself from Magnus, but the two somehow end up falling onto their sides and flailing about. “No, Kravitz, stop kicking, just move your arm-”

“I’m trying, but your infernal bony elbow is digging into my neck-

“Well it would stop doing that if you would quit shoving my hand to the side like that-”

Taako sets the groceries on the couch and laughs until tears start to form in his eyes at the sight of Kravitz and Magnus flopping and twisting like Siamese fish-twins out of water. Laughs at his brother, who tried to teach Taako’s easily-flustered, agreeable and precise boyfriend a contact sport.

Laughs because it is just like Magnus to try to wrestle Death.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed that! Full disclosure, this is literally the first fanfic I've ever written, so if it's less than perfect don't hate me too badly.  
> Also big thanks to OrianaGray, who got me into this fandom and subsequently, the fanfiction. If you love TAZ and haven't read her stuff, go do it. Seriously. Taako is her spirit animal and you can feel it in every line, it's beautiful.


End file.
